


Cherish You

by Shells19



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Loki Angst, Loki Feels, M/M, Past Thor/Jane - Freeform, Thor is a fool
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-16
Updated: 2013-09-16
Packaged: 2017-12-26 17:43:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/968579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shells19/pseuds/Shells19
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Love is compelling and romantic and seductive and irresistible … but love is also heartbreaking and painful and brutal and ruthless. And sometimes you fall in love with someone who can never return it, because their heart belongs to another.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cherish You

Jane was told that he would be there, which was one of several reasons as to why she was making her way through the crowd of people who were standing around, laughing and joking as though there wasn't a care in the world. And perhaps in their world, there wasn't any. She wished the same could be said for hers. Of course, she used to be one of those people – the kind who couldn't seem to knock the smile off their face, because everything seemed to be going the way it should be. She was happy with her research, she was happy with her friends, and she was so incredibly happy with the man – or  _God_ , more like it – she had fallen so completely in love with. Jane felt like she was standing on top of the world when Thor Odinson was by her side, but at that particular moment, she felt anything but.

Wiping away a stray tear that ran down the side of her face, the Physicist shook her head and ignored all who questioned if she was alright, and she carried on her way, one destination in mind. She yearned to talk to Darcy, to vent her frustrations and her pain, to cry and not be judged for being weak. She wanted to hear her best friend threaten to cut off appendages of those who had hurt her, and she wanted more than anything to get lost in the ramblings that were Darcy Lewis' lectures of how much of an amazing person she was. Not only that, Jane wanted to sit down with Erik Selvig. He was against her relationship from the very beginning, saying that it was ridiculous and stupid for her to even consider falling for the God of Thunder. And maybe she wasn't as careful as she should have been, but it wasn't as though she planned on falling for him. It just … happened. Jane remembered being angry with Erik for not even having faith that their relationship would work, and now, almost two years later, she wished more than anything that she had tried harder to not fall for Thor Odinson, because she did not want to have to deal with the pain she was experiencing now. She would give anything not to feel it again.

Taking a left down the next hallway, Jane let out a strangled sob as she braced a hand against the wall, the tears blurring her vision, temporarily blinding her for the moment as she let down her guard. Her heart felt like it was being ripped from her chest, and she wanted more than anything to just go to Heimdall, get in the Bifrost, and just go home and pretend that what happened in Antigua, New Mexico never happened, that she never hit him with her car twice, that she just …

Leaning fully against the wall, Jane let out a shaky breath as she tried to control the tears that were building behind her closed lids. She wished and she wanted, and no matter how badly she craved for her desires to be answered, the Physicist was smart enough to know that those sorts of things just didn't happen. It was impossible. What was done was done, and no matter how she wished for an alternative ending to the unfortunate conclusion, Jane knew that there was nothing she could do to turn back the hands of time. So, it was with great difficulty, that she pushed herself gently from the wall, wiped her eyes with the heel of her hand, and slowly continued on down the hallway to her destination. She knew for a fact that she was leaving Asgard that very night, and she vowed to herself that she would never, ever return again, but first, she needed to talk to someone, needed to know why he did what he did, how he could break her heart and no care at all.

Despite how badly she wanted to run away and pretend she never discovered anything about Gods and Asgard and the other Nine Realms of the Cosmos, Jane exhaled through her nose slowly before holding her head high, taking one step at a time until she reached her destination at the very top of one of the Palace of Asgard's magnificent balconies, and that is where she found him – surrounded by several books, some of which were piled high on the ledge and on the stones, was Loki.

She knew that he knew she was there. Despite how nonchalant he tried to appear, it wasn't difficult for Jane to notice how he slightly tensed when she passed through the glass doors and walked onto the balcony. Regardless, at the sight of her, Loki rose from his place on the balcony's edge, swinging his legs over the railing, and gracefully stood tall before her, the book closing, and casted aside. She was upset, hurt, and Loki was set on giving her his undivided attention as she lashed out on him.

Nothing came, however – no matter how long they stood there, staring at one another. Jane's eyes were aglow with such a radiance of emotions, so full of depth and feelings, it was a wonder she hadn't expelled her anger and pain at the God yet, who stood perfectly still before her, simply watching with a blank stare of his own. Only when he opened his mouth to speak did she finally start her voice full of the pain that she was feeling.

"How does it feel to win?"

Loki cocked his head to the side, not entirely understanding what she was talking about. "I'm sorry, Lady Jane?"

"Thor."

Comprehension filled his gaze now and he broke eye-contact, choosing instead to look at the ground instead of into what was left of warm brown eyes. Though they were still on opposite sides of the balcony, the God could feel the anger and hurt radiating off of her, slamming into him. He could feel the humiliation and hate that consumed her. Sighing, Loki leaned back against the railing, pinching the bridge of his nose with his pointer finger and thumb. Deep down before this had even gotten serious, Loki had known that she would hurt, that the pain of losing the object of her affection would be too much for her to bare, but he did nothing to stop it, now realizing the effects.

"This was never a competition."

"How can you say that?" Jane hissed, her breath hitching in her throat, a gasp escaping her as she stared at Loki in shock, her mouth slightly agape. "You didn't know. I was there for him when he was exiled! I was there for him once he realized your betrayal!" She ran a hand through her brown hair, her heart pounding in her chest. Her entire body felt weak and she wanted nothing more than to just run home and pretend that this had never happened. "You're a monster …"

Despite the severity of the situation, Loki smiled sadly, nodding his head. "Am I truly that, though?" He questioned, finally looking up to meet the confused expression on Jane's face. He motioned to himself. "You judge me for what I have done, and yes, I have made mistakes. I have done horrible things in my life that I shall never be able to take back. You are angry, and that is understandable … but you are angry because you lost, because you weren't who Thor chose in the end."

A wave of emotion struck Jane, making her stumble back as she took in the calm words of the God. She felt like screaming then, felt like rushing forward and striking at the God, wanted him to feel the amount of pain that she was feeling. She couldn't move, though, despite the way her fists clenched, her nails digging into the palms of her hands, despite how she shifted from foot to foot, as though readying herself for the attack.

"I was happy," She whispered, her entire vision blurry as she stared at the God.

"They all are, Lady Jane," Loki replied, his voice soft, a small amount of pain expressed through his eyes before walls were built back around them, hiding their secrets, fears, and pains from her. "You think you are the first mortal that he has ever fallen in love with … that has been brought here? You are but one of a thousand that Thor has taken a liking to, and I suspect that you will not be the last."

"Oh, yeah," Nodding her head, Jane roughly wiped at the tears that were falling down her cheeks and neck, her voice still low, regardless of the malice that laced her words. "Then why did he choose you, why – because you were the safe choice, the immortal one that will continue to be by his side long after I'm gone?"

Shoulders slightly slumping, Loki brought his emerald green eyes back to the ground, his fingers clenching at the railing as he thought about her words. "Perhaps we are not as different as you might think," And the tone of his voice was enough to even stop Jane from snapping back a quick quip, her anger diminishing just slightly as she allowed the logical side to take over, examining what she had just been told.

There was something embedded in his words, something deep and full of grief that clouded his vision and tore him down. Jane wished to know, wished to examine how similar he thought them to be, but then she saw it, saw  _herself_. What she was feeling, Loki was, too, and only now she was realizing that she was looking into a mirror. Her pain matched his. Shaking her head, Jane slowly walked over to Loki, sitting a part from him, her warm brown eyes assessing as she waiting for him to continue, to elaborate.

"You think you are the only one who suffers through this pain, to sit and watch as the one you love, loves someone else? I have been alive for over a thousand years, and I have seen him bed more than that. I do not blame him, though. I do not have the courage to be angry with him, because he is all that I want. It is strange how willing I am to serve him, when I bow to no one, yield to no one, yet one look could silence me for eternity," Loki's voice was barely above a whisper. He was not strong enough to keep his walls up, and he reluctantly allowed them to fall around them, expressing the buried pain that had accumulated over his many years. "Sometimes I tell myself that I will no longer stand for his infidelity … that I will move on and find someone who will love me in return, but then I look at him and …"

A sharp breath was taken and the God turned his emerald green eyes on the woman who sat to his right, her gaze expressive as she watched him with care. "I know your pain, but  _you will never be able to cherish him as much as I do_."

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

He was sitting in his chambers when Jane finally made it back, her body wary and tired. She barely paid him mind as she slowly walked over to the bed where her belongings lay, scattered about in a neat arrangement on the fur duvet. Willing herself not to shake, though feeling more whole than she had been before, Jane began to slowly pack her clothes and some of her tools, aware of the sparkling blue gaze of Thor, following her movements. She knew he wished to speak, could practically feel how uncomfortable and nervous he was to be in her presence after walking in on him and Loki, but she merely let him be.

A warm hand was placed over hers, and Jane forced herself to swallow past the lump that was forming in her throat and meet Thor's eyes. She could not read his expression when she looked up at him, only catching glimpses of guilt and sadness, and although she thought she saw love somewhere deep in those sparkling blue eyes, Thor's usually expressive gaze was clouded, reserved as he looked down at her. "I am sorry that I have brought you pain."

"Me, too," She found herself say, but what surprised her was the lack of tone she held, the lack of feeling. It was as though she had revealed that what she was feeling towards Thor wouldn't and was never meant to happen, that she was in the wrong place at the wrong time that day in the desert. It grieved her to know that she finally realized it, now of all times. Despite how much she was hurting due to the betrayal, Jane was … "Did you care about me … ever?"

"I did," Thor nodded his head, his booming voice several volumes softer than what was expected from the Crowned Prince of Asgard. "I can never thank you enough for what you have done for me, Jane Foster. You were there when I –"

"There, just there?" She left out a pained laugh, the last shred of her hope breaking, cracking around her as she finally became aware that they were never supposed to be. Lifting a shaky hand, she wiped away at the tears that relentlessly fell from her eyes. "Why did you do it?" She whispered, looking back up at him, wanting to see his expression, no matter how much it hurt to look at his face. "Why … why did it have to be him?"

Thor ran a hand through his blonde hair and sighed as he closed his eyes, feeling a lump of his own forming in his throat. He had known that that question would eventually come, knew that Jane would demand an answer, an explanation for completely ruining her life. And though he was truly sorry for what he had done to her, Thor found that his answer to her question wasn't a hard one, because talking about Loki was his favourite topic.

"He … he's …  _everything_  to me."

Willing herself to be strong, Jane simply nodded her head and turned back to her bag, putting the last few remnants of her belongings inside before zipping it closed, pulling it over her shoulder. "I've noticed."

"I truly meant to cause you no harm, I just …  _I will never be able to cherish you as much as I cherish him_."

"Then stop hurting him. Cherish him like everything you claim him to be," And then she was gone, and she was forgotten, and in the end, all that remained was Thor and Loki – just as it was always meant to be.


End file.
